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My name is Alexis. These are the chronicles of my life:
The Good. The Bad & The Ugly.
Let it be known, I am going to change the world.

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I miss you. I miss the boy you used to be and the man you’ve become. I miss your smile, your hands and the eyes that looked at me like I was a princess. 

I miss the boy I met in 9th grade who stood up to the guy on the bus for me. Or the boy who would send me 10 page long text messages telling me all the things he loved about me.

I miss the boy who took me out to watch the stars and told me that if he could, he would give me one. The boy who gave me orange roses on special occasions and went out to get all types of orange silverware and cups just because it was my favorite color.

I miss the boy who could pick me up and let me hold onto him like a monkey in the tree. And the boy who would take as many pictures as I wanted until we could get the perfect one.

I miss the boy who brought me Wendy’s when I had a concussion and couldn’t leave my house. The same boy who brought me flowers many times until I felt better.

I miss the boy who would cook for me and go to the beach to watch the sunset. I miss the boy that I laid with for thousands of hours watching television and movies until boy of us were asleep. I miss holding your hand and kissing your lips. I miss your stubble. 

I miss the good and the bad. I miss the four years that we had. I even miss what could have been.

I miss the boy who loved me with all his heart.

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” 
- Marcel Proust

My heart aches terribly.

I see your face in my mind as I drive away,
Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way.
People are people, and sometimes we change our minds.
But it’s killing me to see you go after all this time.

Mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm

Music starts playin’ like the end of a sad movie,
It’s the kinda ending you don’t really wanna see.
Cause it’s tragedy and it’ll only bring you down,
Now I don’t know what to be without you around.

And we know it’s never simple, never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.
You’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand,

And I can’t breathe without you
But I have to.
Breathe without you
But I have to.

Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt.
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.
People are people, and sometimes it doesn’t work out,
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.

And we know it’s never simple, never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.
You’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand,

And I can’t breathe without you
But I have to.
Breathe without you
But I have to.

It’s two A.M.
Feelin’ like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know it’s not easy, easy for me.
It’s two A.M.
Feelin’ like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know this ain’t easy, easy for me.

And we know it’s never simple, never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.

Ohhh

And I can’t breathe without you
But I have to.
Breathe without you
But I have to.
Breathe without you
But I have to.

I’m sorry (oh)
I’m sorry (mmm)
I’m sorry (eh eh)
I’m sorry (mmm)
I’m sorry (eh eh)
I’m sorry (mmm)
I’m sorry

I keep looking at your Facebook page; I keep tearing up. All I want to do is talk to you right now. I want to share stories about what I’m doing and the places I’m seeing. I want to apologize for all the things I said. I want to tell you that I love you.

Don’t let them in,
don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel,
don’t let them know
Well now they know”


All I want is to be curled up next to you in bed watching supernatural and giggling and kissing. I want to take it all back. I don’t want to lose it. I don’t want to lose you.

I’d give anything to talk to you.

I did this myself, but this is my fear. I think I made a mistake.
I don’t know what I believe anymore.

I’ve always been good at hiding what’s going through my mind. I’ve been good at putting up barriers between myself and those around me. It doesn’t surprise me that I’ve become an empty jar of emotion. Everything reminds me of you. A simple book that I read about love. A picture, a meal. A shirt that I choose to wear.

I’m

falling

apart.

I should’ve been there. I should’ve been there. I should’ve been there. I should’ve been there. I should’ve been there. I should’ve been there. I should’ve been there. I should’ve been there. I should’ve been there. I should’ve been there. I should’ve been there. I should’ve been there. I should’ve been there.

With summer beginning…

I’m making this all about me. It’s time for me to focus on myself, my health and all the things in my life that I have been putting aside. It’s time to eat healthier, work out harder and just be happy with myself. 

It’s a summer of change and I’m ready to take it on.